The Bigger Man

Two weeks ago while traveling from the US to Europe I was just settling into my Delta seat and getting ready for the first four hour leg. My bags were stored above and I had made a nice little spot between my bag and the overhead bulkhead for my sports jacket and my brand new wool overcoat. The overcoat was turned inside out, sports jacket inside, and in a perfect position to survive the 4 hour leg.

Just before they closed the boarding door a soldier in the US military, in full battle fatigues, ran aboard and moved toward the back of the plane. He stopped next to me and in one quick motion grabbed his bag from the floor and with a mighty shove flattened my perfectly folded coats against the back of the overhead. Before his hand had left the bag I was moving from my seat seat screaming "excuse me". Without even the slightest hesitation he slid to his seat in the row opposite and began reading a 4 inch book titled, "US diplomacy in the Middle East. I immediately pulled his bag from the overhead and retrieved my coats. I refolded them, slid his bag back in the overhead, and found another niche, all while mumbling about how inconsiderate some people were with respect to other peoples property. This captain somebody was obviously someone used to giving orders rather than taking them. I was certain that in his mind I was simply one of the troops.

I couldn't believe what a jerk this guy was. He completely ignored the situation and continued reading his magazine. During the flight I from time to time would glance over to find him deep into his reading. One time we did make eye contact and by the speed at which he looked away I could tell he had seen the error of his ways.

About 5 minutes after this little eyeball war the gentleman, and yes I now say gentleman, stood up and slid to the aisle. He moved to his knees and put his hand on my arm. "Are you the gentleman that owned the coat I shoved my bag over." "What" I said. I heard exactly what he said, I just couldn't think that quickly of something clever to say. He repeated himself. I answered "yes". "I'm so sorry" he said. "I wasn't thinking and I'm sorry. I did something really stupid and I wish I hadn't, but I did and I can't change that". "I'm sorry and I apologize". "No problem I said don't' worry about it." He stood up apologizing again and returned to his seat.

DAMN! I hate it when people are much bigger than me. I have been in his situation several times. We do something inconsiderate or just stupid and pretend we are unaware of the situation. Somehow by being unaware it eliminates any responsibility. He was certainly the bigger man. After this proposal, or apology I began to feel like the stupid one. I was trying to guess what the people around me were thinking about as everyone had witnessed this entire situation. Although I had been wronged and rightly complained, somehow this guy turned the tables and came out the bigger man.

I learned a valuable lesson here. It's hard to believe that after 51 years I am still learning basic lessons about humanity, but I guess I am a slow learner. It is a given that we all make mistakes. Ignoring our mistakes and pretending they didn't happen just robs us of an opportunity to show that we can be the bigger man.