OK! I am now beginning to agree with everyone else. I am nuts. About 2 months ago I decided to invest in a new travel bag. You don't actually say suitcase these days. I was currently using a bag that I had bought at TJ Max for sixty bucks 3 years ago. It was a pretty good bag, but not a real traveling bag and the wheels were getting a little bit wobbly. It just couldn't hack the cobble stone streets of Europe.
I decided to go to a real travel store and buy the best. After all, when you live out of a suitcase it sort of becomes your home. I have had a leather Tumi briefcase now for about 6 years and it looks just like the day I got it. Oh! and that's another story. Anyway Tumi is one of the industry leaders and everyone in business class had a Tumi, so I laid down four hundred bucks and strolled out the proud owner of a real traveling bag. "So I thought".
I hit the road for a little 3 week test hop to take my new bag for a spin. As I'm walking down the terminal in Salt Lake outbound, something was a little strange. The bag sort of wobbled back and forth. I check the wheels and they appear to be towed in, but this is the Rolls Royce of bags and surly it must be part of the design. Well needless to say thing go from bad to worse. As I hit the cobblestone streets of Central Europe this thing takes on a mind of it own. When it rolls across a coarse surface it really digs in and starts to oscillate back and forth. After about five or six oscillations, it flips over. It is the strangest thing you have ever seen. Its like it just gets tired after a while and falls over. The miss-alignment on the wheels is so bad that the tread starts to wear off and I began trailing rubber ribbons behind me that eventually wind up in the axle and bring the bag and its owner to a complete stop. By the time I get back to the US the wheels have worn down to half their size and it takes a truck to pull the thing. So much for high quality.
Having bought the stupid thing from a"professional" travel store, I assumed there would be no problem returning it. I drag the bag back into the store as if trying to coax a drunken donkey back into the barn. I don't think it wanted to go. I left a beautiful skid mark down the mall all the way from the parking lot. As I explained the situation, the clerk was astonished that I would have such a problem with any of their high end bags. As she examined what was left of the wheels, she asked me If I would like to have them repaired. "Repaired? No, I want a new bag. One that preferably follows you down the street instead of trying to pass you." She explained that they only allow returns on bags if there is a manufacturing defect. She is sure the bag can be repaired and offers me a loaner bag for the interim. "A loaner bag?" Wow this is a high class store. I was so taken back by the idea of a loaner bag that I forgot to insist on my money back. She takes my phone number and explains the loaner will be shipped and available in a few days.
A week or so later I receive the call that my loaner has arrived and I head to the mall to retrieve same. I am astonished, they have provided me with a Travelpro. WOW! I have seen these before but never believed I could ever own one. The list of features is mind boggling. Micro-ballistic Teflon body fabric, 38X43" alloy extension handle, removable high-mileage wheels with sealed bearings, interlocking zippers for added security and a no-tip foot. I have no idea what a no-tip foot does, but I am all for anything that keeps the damn thing from falling over.
We hit the road for a 4 week grinder. To say I am impressed is an understatement. This thing is awesome. It actually pushes you down the street and unpacks your clothes for you. It carries my brief case and reminds me when I need to clean my clothes. About a week into my trip and I am facing a dilema. I do not want the Tumi back, I want the Travelpro. Then I get "the phone call". My wife calls to inform me that the Tumi is repaird and ready for pickup upon my return. I cried for two days, then I made a decision. I don't care what it takes, I want this bag. I lay awake at night rehearsing how I will demand they exhange the tainted Tumi for the Travelpro. The dilema is so frustrating that I finally decide I am going to buy this bag regardless of whether or not they take the Tumi back. My mind is finally at ease.
Two weeks later as I am walking down the mall with my trusty loaner Travelpro in a perfect single track by my side, I coudn't help but think about Richard Gere leaving Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. Yes it was a great two weeks but I have to leave you now and go back to New York, alone. Only I wasn't going alone, I was taking my Tumi. "Damn!"
As I was saying my goodbuys to the Travelpro the clerk went to the back room to retrieve my Tumi. Perhaps things would be ok. Maybe some new wheels and a front end alignment was all the girl needed to be just as good as this trusty Travelpro, but I knew different. It would never be the same.
As the clerk emerged from the back room he began to appologize. In his hand he held a brand new Tumi explaining that the defective bag could not be repaired but worse yet all of these bags had the same defect. They had agreed to let me exchange it for another brand. I could not believe my ears. I had to ask him to repeat himself. My face became flush and the room began to spin. I could only picture Richard Gere in the limo pulling up to Julia Roberts appartment and I could hear Aria from La Traviata playing in the background. This was a very special moment.
"I will take a Travelpro" I beamed. "We don't carry Travelpro" the clerk explained. The music stopped. "What"? "Travelpro have quality issues" he said. He immediately realized how stupid that sounded.
Two hours later I sat in the middle of my bedroom unwrapping my brand new Travelpro travel bag. I had successfully negotiated a full refund and sourced my new bag at a department store for half the cost of the Tumi. I spent the rest of the afternoon pampering and primping my new bag with all of the necessities needed for here first flight. I haven't named her yet but that will come with time.
They all say that a Road Warrior has a moment when he knows he has had enough. My fear is that I have already had that moment and didn't recognize it.
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